Maybe it is Time to Quit

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I wish I would have known that a seemingly fun adventure on my tip to Bloomington, IL would turn around and bit me a month later. Yes, that is what yesterday brought me, when disaster literally knocked on my door. Not wanting to get into details, this incident pretty much tarnished my efforts to attend the Rosh Hashanah service this evening and my attempts at conversion in general. In addition, it has solidified the validity of my wife’s anxieties towards the Jewish community. So, now I am faced with damage control. However, do not get me wrong, I do not blame anyone but myself for this situation. I wish I had a time machine, because I would go back to August 6 and tell myself not to do it.

I guess that leads me to where I am now. I think it is time that I face the facts. This whole wanting to be a Jew is not working out. The writing is on the wall and I am just not wanting to see it. I love Judaism, but for some reason Judaism does not love me. I personally do not like to give up on anything, but maybe it is best to swallow my pride and just give up. It seems the God has other plans for me, it has truly become apparent after yesterdays craziness. What am I to do, God does not seem to be on my side or interested in me converting to Judaism. I cried quite a bit last night and now writing this post. It makes me angry that I am so broken hearted over this, it seems so unfair and I do not understand.

Therefore, I am quitting my quest for conversion to Judaism and I am closing down this blog. I am going to move on to brighter pastures with my new blog, which is in the works, and try to bring back stability in my life. I will let all my friends know about my new blog site and please email me with any questions.

I want to give a big “Thank You” to everyone who has supported this blog and me in the past.

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11 responses to “Maybe it is Time to Quit

  1. This must have been a very painful post for you to write. Hope that you find ways to deal with the situation. Thinking of you and thanks for your kind words on my blog. You are of course welcome to comment or email me whenever you feel like it.
    Let us know when the new blog takes off.

  2. I am so sorry to read this, and at such a time. I can only imagine how you are feeling, by trying to determine how I would feel if I were in your shoes. Pretty devastated, that’s for sure.

    You know where I am, blog-wise and otherwise. Don’t disappear.

    Thinkingof you.
    Rachel

  3. I hope you find comfort in your spiritual quests, wherever they may lead you.

    I’m sorry things haven’t worked out, and that your expectations are diminished.

    You know where to find me, don’t lost touch.

    Lorri

  4. Ok, now that I have taken a nice walk in the park for lunch, how about I make a change here and say that I am taking a break from my ambitions to becoming a Jew. There is actually no place that I would rather be than to be a part of the Jewish community. I have worked and studied to hard too just throw it all away, I have jumped the gun a bit. I am still going to shut down this site, which was in the works anyway. However, when it comes to religion, I am going to take a back seat for a while.

    Furthermore, I am going to continue to mingle with my friends here in the cyber world, just as I always have. I will be in listening mode, instead of contributing mode when it comes to religion.

    Thanks everyone for your kind words.

  5. I look forward to the blog about walking and what you see. If you add in your spiritual quests and questions and thoughts, I will be happy to read those, too.

    Best of luck with your decisions.

  6. Thanks Leora, I will let you know when I have the new site going.

  7. Hi James –
    I am grateful for the awareness you’ve brought to me of looking at matters of faith from another perspective. I feel that no matter what your decision is now, your spiritual journey is going to continue in one way or another – along with your walking 🙂

    lorna

  8. Have a nice weekend, James.

  9. Hi James…

  10. Pingback: Letting It All Out « Religiously Challenged

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