Hey everyone, I hope your week is going well.
Well, not feeling that great today. Chest is tight and starting to cough some. My sinuses started raring its ugly self a couple of days ago and this is probably helping my flaring. My PFs are pretty good at the moment but I am going to be on asthma attack alert, regardless.
Anyway, I have been in heavy thought (maybe, heavy heart too) about, oh my, religion or lack there of in my life. Truth be told, I totally disregarded a religious holiday that was supposed to be dear to my heart. Interesting enough, I was at home on eve of this religious holiday reading the associated prayer book, when it struck me that this is not going to work. I mean for one, I am reading at the table while my wife is interrupting me, wanting to show me nativity scenes that she is thinking about purchasing. Plus, reading some of the poems and thoughts that have been handed down though generations to prepare the congregation for prayer weighed heavily on me. It ended up putting me in an emotional and distracted mess, so I just could not make it work this year.
So, this week I have been overloaded with thoughts and frustration about who I am and my connection with my Creator. Believe me, I would prefer not to struggle like this. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I find peace? Better yet, why is God being silent when I need him? Now, do not get me wrong. God has been by my side taking care of me and my family, but my religious struggles have not been touched. Does God want me to figure it out myself? I sure hope not, because I am sure making a mess out it every waking moment.
Needless to say, I am not happy! Yes, I realize that life is never going to be a bed of roses, but a person should be able to find some peace and happiness, regardless.
Oh well, I am just cranky.
Please have a good week everyone!!!