Yesterday, a seed of doubt was planted and it is growing like an unwanted weed. I am a realist of sorts, my odds of becoming a Jew are slim, and I know that. I am not saying that it might never happen. My thought is that it puts such a strain on my life as it is, why all the hardship? Plus, will I be an observant Jew? Maybe not completely observant and it really hinges on how my family manages it. Don’t get me wrong though, I understand Halakhah and its importance. I would do my very best to be a Jew and observe it.
Why make the effort? That’s been the tough question for me. I have lost count how many times in the last three years that I have tried to return to my roots, Christianity. For me, Judaism is something solid I can believe in. Yes, there is a lot more to Judaism than theology and it can be intimidating (in an unfamiliar sort of way) at times but it has gotten better through time.
So far, the community here has been very friendly and my Rabbi has given me no reason to think that I wouldn’t fit in.
A don’t know, maybe it is best that I return to Christianity. When it comes to Social Justice, which is dear to my heart. The United Methodist Church would be a perfect fit for me. Plus, I would not be at odds with my wife in the religious department. Sad part is, their theology tradition is something I would have to go along with it and probably would be uncomfortable with believing in whole heartily. Actually, I have written about this before on August 5th in “Unfortunate Babblings”
Or just maybe I should just be an agnostic theist and go with the flow. It probably has a lot less headaches and hardships. Although, I have always been one of those that can persevere hardships if I put my mind too it, finishing a marathon with uncontrolled asthma reminds of that.
Yep, the seed has been planted and I am as religiously challenged as ever!