I just can’t help but feel sad today and a little helpless. My wife will not support my recovery and I desperately need her on my side. Work is just a plain unknown, not sure what is going to happen. I am over whelmed with the thought that my life has yet to hit rock bottom. Gosh, more pieces to pick up. I have enough to pick up now.
Home life is a wreck. My wife thinks I am a bum and that the therapy did nothing for me. She thinks I just want to stay the way I am now. Frankly, to her, I am being a jerk. I told her last night that she needed to go to a support group for people who have mentally ill family members. She told me she doesn’t have time for that crap. It is hard not to assume that she just wants me to conform to her needs and my needs are unimportant. This whole thing is just a nightmare. I made vows to God that I would stay with her for better or worst so I guess I need to fulfill that promise. As much as I don’t want to be a robot husband, I guess that is my only route.
My goodness, work. I am still waiting for the anvil to drop. They have me revamping a web app I created many years ago and that is actually going well. I am still treated pretty poorly by management. It usually ends up giving the feeling that they don’t think I deserve to work there. Frankly, in some respects, I don’t. I can understand how they could feel this way. There is nothing I can do here but work as hard as I possible can and when asked to leave, I will be leaving with some dignity.
Gosh, when people visit my blog, I want everyone to see a mentally ill person having a positive journey to recovery. To be honest, I think that I have been. I have stayed pretty strong through all these current trials. For some reason, people are afraid of mental health issues and that is why there is a stigma attached to it. Those with mentally illness need our help desperately.
Have you hugged your mentally ill friend today? Come on; give me a cyber hug…Hehe