I called Illinois Mental Health Collaborative for Access and Choice’s warm line again. I can’t tell you enough how fruitful it is to talk to one of their councilors. The nice thing is, it’s a free service and anonymous. I am going to find a way to give back to them in the future.
Well, the councilor gave me a lot of advice to chew on. On that stuck out to me is setting a routine in the morning that will prepare me for the day. Something uplifting that will set my mood in a positive direction so I have a head-start in winning the battles of the day. They also have classes that I can attend that will teach me these routines and also in creating action plans when faced with major stressors and triggers. I think it is in my best interests to try to take a class.
So, what can I change in my morning routine. The problem right now is going to work at 7am. I don’t feel like getting up any earlier than 5am. So by the time I bathe, eat something, take meds, and prepare lunch, it’s 6am and I have a 30 minute drive ahead of me. Although in September, I go back to 8am again.
I think the big thing missing is prayer time. I think making time for that again would be helpful. I am a liturgy kind of person and usually like to pray the morning office. I have not been able to just pray on my own for quite a while. Sometimes the liturgy pauses for prayer and meditation and I sometimes pray on my own, which is usually for others that are struggling and need a helping hand. I do not like to pray for my own needs.
Frankly, I would be lying if I said that time was the only reason I haven’t been praying. I always struggle with this side of religious practice. I guess I am just lazy or something. However, I think it’s time that I try to get back into it.
I find spiritual practice to be so uplifting and I am missing out on that. That is why I found Judaism to be so awesome. To lay Tefillin and wear Tallit in the morning seems so holy to me. Since Judaism is not in the cards just yet, I will settle for Christianity and its rituals, which isn’t much.
So, for this week, I am going to pray again. This time I am going to look at as an uplifting thing instead of a duty.
Wish me success…