What rock should I live under?

Tough, tough weekend…after nearly ending my life on Friday, it was a tough weekend trying to figure out where I went wrong.

Honestly, I guess I should feel embarrassed by what happened Friday, but I am not. Actually I don’t really care. Yes, I don’t care one bit. As I write this post, I could care less about anything.

Therapy – There is just no way can I go to Partial Hospitalization. Yes, I need to go badly. However, I have no time left and no financial means to support my family on medical leave without pay. My current treatments since April have broken us financially. My wife and I are doing our best but the medical bills keep arriving in the mail.

Today, I disclosed to my work that I am doing badly, just so they know. I figured it wasn’t fair to them if I didn’t give them some heads-up. Of course, that is a trigger laden thing for me and really sent my mood plunging.

Well, this is how my Monday morning is panning out. I am waiting for medical staff to call me to give me my options. Fun stuff!

Hmmm…I wonder what rock I should dig under. It’s got to be better than this?


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